The Concrete Tomb of Hradzka

Mike Sterling has an interesting post that touches on on for-pay RPF from the 1970s. He points out that teen magazines included fictional stories about celebrities, mysteries and adventures and romances and -- yes, *exactly,* it was totally RPF. I *have* to poach Sterling's selected quote, a bit from a serialized story in which the protagonist, Cindi goes on adventures with, um, Donny Osmond.

In spite of the total darkness, Donny seemed to know in which direction to swim. Cindi held onto Donny from behind, with one hand under his arm and the other across his bare shoulders. As he propelled them forward through the murky depths, Cindi could feel the movement of Donny's muscles working under his skin, and his soft, thick hair brushing her face. With her left leg alongside his right, Cindi was able to pick up and imitate the rhythm of Donny's kicking, so that the two of them, intertwined and struggling forward, became as one.

...yeah.

It's as amazing to me as it is to you -- maybe more so, because I vividly remember the flamewars when RPF came into being, and to be honest the stuff still squicks me today -- but apparently there was a time when RPF was not only not minded, but was more or less *commissioned,* for *pay,* and *sold for profit,* by celebrity magazines. I honestly wonder if such a thing might not come round again. Admittedly, Mary Sue are probably an easier sell than slash, and this was in the day where you just had "becoming as one while swimming in total darkness" as masturbatory fodder in lieu of actual porn, so some aspects would be a tough sell. But if I were a romance or mystery publisher, particularly one with a corporate relationship with some music arm, I would seriously think about producing a line of cheap stories with celebrity tie-ins. Because you can plonk a big pile of seventies teen mags down and say, "We used to do it!" (Hey, publishers, wanna print money? Commission somebody to write a book about a murder mystery at Fueled by Ramen, with Patrick Stump solving the crime. You want a TWILIGHT knock-off? Produce books about things that TWILIGHT's audience already likes. Or -- dig this: a murder/romance set DURING THE FILMING OF THE TWILIGHT MOVIES, with the stars solving crimes and acting. You want more TWILIGHT books to sell? You got it.)

I think that I had this idea means that I'm going to hell.